i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
