They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
