Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
