I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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