Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
