omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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