i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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