Non-Jews are for practice
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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