I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.