Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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