Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
