what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i think i just lost a toe
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
