she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We need to get me chipped asap
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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