out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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