he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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