I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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