The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
