Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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