Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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