The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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