were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
