"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
