did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
