It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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