I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
