Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
