I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
