I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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