wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize