Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
