If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
