I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Send help, water and tortillas.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
