hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
