He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
