she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
