well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
