11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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