Will you blow on my dice?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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