In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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