but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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