Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
do herpes really smell.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
