I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
