just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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