i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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