hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
