I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
as a side note pls kill me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
