dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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