i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
