i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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