I got chris browned last night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I can text with my tongue
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night