Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever