The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.