I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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