So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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