we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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