I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
