dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
