people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
