Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
