He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize