It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
